Dear future child,
Hi. It’s your mom. You do not exist yet, and you have not been
conceived yet. I actually don’t know when I want you to be born just yet. I am
22, going on 23, and I feel like having a child is a huge responsibility right
now. But someday you will read this-- someday you will exist. I think that is
cool.
I hope you read this when you are my age. 22 is a cool year,
right? I was drunk the entire 21st year, but 22 has been different
for me. I decided it was time to go to college and get my shit together. Sorry
I cursed. Do I curse in front of you? I hope I get my shitty grammar under
control once you are here.
I think you are a boy. I have always envisioned you to be a
boy. I want to name you Julian, and if you happen to be a girl, Hailey. Please
don’t hate that name, your father hates that name. That is, if I marry him.
Adrian. Is he your father? I sure hope so. He is a wonderful man. Just like I
hope you to be someday. But, your mother is a smart woman. I know whomever your
father will be is going to be one hell of a man.
I always wonder what you will be like. Witty? Sarcastic?
Sort of an asshole? Intelligent, passionate about life? These are all things
that I am. I love a good debate and I
hate the government (you will probably know that by the point of reading this).
I almost can’t envision myself with a child. It’s so strange. But here I am.
Talking to you in the future. So cool! It’s like this paper is a time machine!
Are you wondering what the point of this is? Well, I just woke up from a nap,
and I dreamed of doing this. So here I am. I do weird shit like this sometimes.
You probably know that, too.
Your father is currently studying for a real estate test. I
hope he passes. Maybe if he does well, we can finally bring you into existence.
I hope you don’t hate me. Please don’t hate us. We are scared as hell to have a
baby. I don’t want us to ever grow apart, I want to know you and love you and
support you forever. I’m a little tough when it comes to being a realist about
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G (I’m sorry) But it’s just the way I am. And I will love you
the way you are. I promise.
P.S.- What do I look like now? I’m probably all wrinkly and
fat. That scares me. I’m pretty hot at the moment. Which I guess is gross to
think about, because you are my kid. Haha oh my god, MY KID. My future kid!!!
Whats up, kiddo? What kind of nicknames have I given to you? Do people even
type out shit on paper anymore? Sorry if this is oldschool..
Lets talk girlfriends. Since you’re my kid, I know you’re
going to be good looking. If you are a girl I’m sorry, I am seriously convinced
I will only ever have boys for some reason.
Anyways, girlfriend talk. Yes girls are beautiful, yes, you
are into chicks (even if you’re not, that is okay! Don’t be afraid to tell us!
We go to gay bars all the time!) yes, you will get your heart broken. No, your
high school relationships won’t work out, but
I won’t tell you that. You have to learn from life. My mom (your grandma) told me my first boyfriend
and I probably wouldn’t last, and I blew up in her face! But, she was right. It
didn’t change the fact that I still didn’t listen. You need to learn these
things for yourself. Life is all about experiences. Having them, and learning
from them.
Find a lady. She
doesn’t need to be a size 1 to love you harder than anyone else could. Does she
have goals? Does she love you harder than you deserve? If she is selfless and
would put you before anything, keep her. (But
please don’t make me a grandma yet. that’s just weird.) My 22 year old
advice is probably not as good as the advice I can give today, so if you ever
have any questions, I am here for you.
On an ending note, Please know that I love you SO MUCH and you aren’t even a living organism yet. You
are just a thought right now, but once you come here, I will be scared as HELL
from the minute I read that pregnancy test, to the minute I hold you for the
first time. (duh.. owch.. you owe me) but please always remember that I love
you more than you will ever know, future child.
I think about you constantly.. I want to travel the world
with your father, and I hope I get to before you get here. You are going to be
hard work. Every day. (especially if you are my kid) But I’m going to do it.
For you. Also, I hope you get to know Tank. Our dog. He is so amazing. I hope
he will be in your baby photos.. I hope he gets to meet you. He is my technical
first-born. Preparing me for you. I am so excited to hold you someday.
I keep blabbering because I have so much to tell you now
that you’re an adult! I will probably slip up and give you this early, but I
will try not to. But as of right now, on this paper. I am your age. We are the
same age. The same mindset. We have the
same open, beautifully blank future. The future is yours. Do whatever you want
with your life. Just be happy. Be kind. Be you. I know you are wonderful.
