Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Why Do Women Hate Each Other?

Have you ever wondered why, when you see a beautiful woman, your first thought is to point out any flaw you can find? Why do we constantly feel the need to put each other down? We bash the skinny models, and try (failing immensely) to glamorize body fat because the women who feel less-than-perfect are threatened by these women. We even go as far as declaring that unless you are a little hefty, you are not a "Real woman". (whatttttt?!?) Women have for generations had an unbearable urge to hate each other. Why is this?

Well, we are programmed to do this. Maybe not genetically--definitely not genetically--but psychologicaly programmed to do this. From the moment we are born, we are put in pink dresses and given Disney princesses as role models. We are encouraged to act "lady-like" and receive positive feedback when we try to look "pretty". We unnoticably tell little girls that they are "beautiful", when we tell little boys that they are "awesome".

It only progresses into adulthood when we start to focus on the media. The magazines tell us how to be more beautiful, what to buy to be more beautiful, and how to act to be seen as more beautiful.  The older we grow, the more that we feed off of that need for acceptance to hear that we are beautiful, because thats all we have ever been encouraged to be.

But what happens if the girl sitting at the bar is "more beautiful" than you? You become INSECURE. But you forget that she, just like you, is only doing what she has been taught to do since birth.. be beautiful. Maybe she's doing a better job at it, but you must realize that she too is pressured by the magazines and the constant strive for compliments and the feeling of acceptance.

So next time you see a beautiful woman, don't let your natural need to feel defensive take over. It isn't her fault. She might be dressed provocatively and she might be getting tons of negative attention from men, but it is what her and you both have been told to strive for. Smile at her, and realize that you and her are one in the same. Just two women trying to make it in a male dominated world.

We need to teach our daughters that they two are smart, and talented and have much more than just their beauty to offer to the world. We need to teach them that beauty lies within and no matter what happens, looks will fade. We need to encourage health rather than a perfect body. We need to encourage success rather than male attention. We need to encourage being a good person rather than being "lady-like". And lastly, we need to empower one another rather than resent one another.

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