How To Have a Healthy Relationship
(and how to keep it that way)
I don't want to boast, but I think I've got this whole relationship thing down. I've been hurt, and I have hurt. You have to date around before you can realize what is right and what isn't. Maybe this post can help you skip some of those steps.
You have heard most of this many times, but have you ever laid it out and actually tried it? I am not claiming to be perfect or have a perfect relationship. Every good relationship faces hard times. It's life. And your relationship will solely survive on how you handle stressful situations. Beyond the basics of trust and communication, these are the things that I think are what holds a relationship together.
HOW TO HANDLE ARGUMENTS
I know how annoying it is when he forgets to rinse the sink after he does the dishes! Fucking prick! How hard is it REALLY?? ---- What? This sounds insane, but this happens. You live with each other and you become annoyed by his little imperfections. The same ones that you used to think we're cute are not so cute anymore. How do we usually go upon a situation like this? A nice bickering fight that ends with him sleeping on the couch and you silently laughing at how crazy you were just acting.
I've learned to laugh about it. Adrian goes insane with my constant need for every light in the house to be on. He laughs and says "You and those fucking lights woman!" He turns them off and grrs at me. We laugh about it. And next time I leave a room I remember him making that face, and it makes me laugh.. Then I turn the lights out and move on with my day. You really have to learn to laugh things off. What you need to do is ALWAYS think of an argument like this. "Will this matter a year from now?" If not, don't even bother with it. Is him leaving dirty towels on the floor in the bathroom worth losing him? I promise if he is a good guy, you will miss picking them up one day. Crazy how that works, huh?
ALWAYS MAKE TIME FOR SEXSex is like pizza. When it's not good, it's still kinda good. Sex will forever bond you. Through stressful jobs, kids (If you have any) and all of life's hardships, Sex is made to psychically and emotionally reattach you.
When Adrian and I become too caught up in life and forget to have sex for a week (our schedules suck) Its almost as if we forget our emotions. But as soon as we reconnect the bond is always completely mended. It's more than penetration, it's a bond that you share with ONLY him. It's beautiful. I have already told you all about Why you should get a lapdance with your man and how to keep the spark alive. Sex is a close second to communication in my eyes. You need it or eventually you WILL fall apart. Which leads me to me next subject.
She is your problem. What of she texts your man behind your back? What if she got pregnant? These sound silly but I've seen it happen. A threesome is something that needs to always stay a fantasy. The reality of a threesome is that is 9 out of 10 times it is a bad idea. But by all means, have fun, get a lap dance, check out women together. Enjoy the fantasy, but KEEP IT A FANTASY. End of story. Is one night of fun really worth endless arguments and possibly the end of something great?
GO OUT TOGETHER REGULARLY
0% TOLERANCE FOR CHEATING
NEVER okay. There is absolutely no reason either of you should ever seek sexual companions outside of your relationship. Once you cheat, your relationship is already fucking toast. Get out. I promise you it will never improve, I have seen it all before. Once they do it and you "forgive" them it will never ever leave your mind. It breaks your bond. If he loved you he wouldn't stray from you. And if you stay he sees no consequences for his actions, so he will most likely do it again. and again. Please, don't waste your time.
ABSOLUTELY NO VIOLENCE
It's sad that I even have to cover this subject. I have never laid a hand on a boyfriend. I wasn't raised around violence, and you need to find a man who wasn't either. Men that are raised around domestic violence are 5 times more likely to do it themselves. Learn about your mans past. Play fighting is fun, but if he physically harms you with the intention of inflicting pain on you, leave. It only gets worse. I promise you. There is no excuse for him to hit you. And it goes both ways. If you don't put your hands on him, then he doesn't put his hands on you. You don't hurt the ones that you love. Point blank.
Do you really want to raise children with a father that beats their mother? Not only are you harming yourself psychically and emotionally, but if you choose to have children with this man, your kids will suffer as well. This is the worst type of relationship to be in. So unhealthy and guaranteed to fail. In the heat of an argument you need to BOTH learn to walk away and cool off. Respect each other always.
BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Yes, he looks at other women, yes he watches porn. (If he says he doesn't, he's lying to you.) It is natural for the both of you to find yourself looking at attractive people. You check out other men, so obviously, he is looking at other women as well. But remember that you have more with him than just a sexual relationship. You have built a bond with this man, and he loves you. If he runs into an old cute girl he went to high school with, don't become angry over it. Smile, politely shake her hand, and join in on the conversation. He will be impressed with you. Your confidence is lighting up the room, and he admires that. No one can take your man from you. And if you have to worry about this, your relationship is not strong enough. Never jump to conclusions unless you are 100% sure you should. I know this is easier said than done, but give it a try and don't ever let another bitch have the satisfaction of thinking you are threatened by her. Because you are the fucking shit, and she knows it.
KEEP YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY OFF OF FACEBOOK
I have a very healthy relationship with Adrian, and I would like to see more of that out there!
Your relationship will only be as good as you let it be!
Your relationship will only be as good as you let it be!
If you have anymore questions or think I should add to this, please comment!